Some of us fall in line,
All of us have a friend,
Some of us live in fear,
Some of us persevere,
Knowing that you are near me…
Fearless- DC Talk
At the beginning of the year I set myself some words that I wanted to focus on. I’ve find this so helpful so far; it’s helped me to focus on important things, and it’s also stopped me from posting random Internet dribble.
One of the words that I haven’t really embraced so far, is Fearless (unless of course you count singing a song to my washing machine.)
Although its a great thing to aspire to, it’s also the easiest to ignore. Being fearless doesn’t not mean having no fear; it means moving forward inspire of it. And that’s scary.
You almost have to be fearless to try to be fearless, if that makes any sense at all.
Last week I received an email from Tam from Around Here. She asked if I would be a featured blogger on her blog and answer some questions. Of course, I totally agreed and the post was published yesterday.
One of her questions was, ‘why did you start blogging?’
I remember the moment when I decided I was going to blog. It was somewhere on the highway between Alice Springs and Dunmarra, and I was contemplating the coming year. I had a couple of books I’d written and I wanted to publish them. One was typed and needed editing, the other handwritten. My goal was to publish last year. To get home from our holidays, and lookup options and ways to move forward. Somewhere in my random thought pattern, I decided that perhaps I would start blogging too. Maybe get myself out there a little bit and have a place to sell said books, and maybe a few people to read them.
It was a good plan, and it was going well. I started my patch of interwebz, I contacted publishers and sourced details, then gave up because the waiting time was so long, and decided to self publish. I still get emails every day reminding me of this.
I have a friend whose has editing experience so she looked the first one over, and I emailed copies to some trusted friends for their opinions.
And then the fear set in.
Because despite positive feedback from most people, constructive feedback from two, left me gutted and doubting any kind of ‘talent’ or purpose that I thought I had.
Whilst I haven’t admitted that those emails stopped me, and could blame my inactivity on a bunch of other stuff, the fact of the matter is that since then, I haven’t done a thing.
I haven’t even thought about it.
Until last week.
The email from Tam was a wakeup call, reminding me of my initial goal. (Thankyou)
Then Saturday night a friend asked me what I was doing with the books, making the observation that if I had contacted those publishers who I ignored because of their long waiting times, I would have heard something by now.
Thanks Hannah for that dose of reality.
As if that wasn’t enough, today (Monday) I got this.
I’m pretty sure that three reminders in one week is some kind of sign. Get over the fear, and just do it. They are not doing anyone any good, sitting on the computer (or in a pink notebook with toy story stickers all over it), and I’m not moving forward if I let two comments hold me back.
So I’ve decided that one day a week I’m going to set aside for book stuff. No blogging and limited social media, and just getting back to where I first started out.
Being fearless and true and realising that yes, I do have something to say, and people do like to listen to it.
In many ways blogging has removed my focus, by providing instant writing gratification and an addiction to twitter that is at times all consuming. But it has also given me so much more confidence too. For the first time in years, I feel like I am moving forward as me, not ‘just a mum’ but a woman who was created for more than cooking, cleaning and changing dirty nappies.
So I guess I just wanted to put this out here, and make myself accountable to more people. This community of Tuesday readers and linkers who I love, and who inspire me to write more. Please ask me if I’m moving forward. Tell me to get off facebook on Wednesdays (my book day) and be proactive. And if anyone knows any literary agents, please hook me up.
Help me be fearless.
Hey, let’s just be fearless together.
Is there something you have been wanting to do, but are too scared of?
Are you a literary agent or publisher who wants to see my manuscript?