I wrote the majority of this blog post whilst coming down from the high of having used Nitrous Oxide. I in no way condone or promote the use of drugs, illicit or otherwise, for any purpose other than that for which they are intended. Drug addiction is a real and serious problem, and if you have any concerns regarding yourself or someone else, please seek professional advice.
This post also contains images that may be upsetting to some people.
People who don’t like toes.
I’m a big believer in blogging organically; a post should not just be written for the sake of writing.
Usually this is not a problem for me, as more often than not, I have far too much to say.
This weekend that was not the case, and as IBOT loomed closer and closer, I feared I would have nothing to contribute to my own link up.
Thankfully, as is my life, drama unfolded, and the crisis was averted.
I’m really glad I never, as a crazy rebellious teenager, ever tried drugs. I think I would have become addicted.
I have what can only be described as an unhealthy appreciation for them. One that I am well aware of, and forces me to exercise reasonable self control.
Except, of course, in the event of pain. Then I become a grumpy, miserable mess that should be medicated for the good of the world.
So when a spur of the moment camping trip led to a spur of the moment toe injury, the laughing gas was the only light at the end of a very sore, crooked tunnel.
Dirty camping feet. Bushman’s Mozzie Repellent stripped my nail polish off my big toe. Oh, and the little one really shouldn’t be on that angle
Of course that’s not why I did it.
No, that was the result of my extreme un-coordination in walking to the toilet, and kicking my foot on a rock. The kids were of course devastated, cause it meant we couldn’t go swimming, and our plans to leave after lunch were moved forward to leaving as soon as Boatman could stop laughing at me long enough to pack everything away.
I was given the important job of sitting in the sun, supervising, and feeling sorry for myself whilst drinking a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc at 10:00 in the morning. (It was the only form of pain relief we had.)
The extent of my injury was some subject of debate. Whilst I immediately jumped to the conclusion that it was broken, Boatman was rather more reserved and suggested it was just dislocated.
He even offered to relocate it himself for me. An offer which I politely declined.
Rather, we headed home, and he dropped me at the door of the Royal Darwin Hospital, so I could enjoy the public holiday madness there.
Thankfully I didn’t have to wait too long until my name was called, and I could hobble inside to the triage area. The general consensus was dislocation (much to my dismay). The consolation prize, a portable canister of nitrous oxide amped right up, and strict instructions to ‘take long deep breaths. ‘
You don’t need to tell me twice.
As the male nurse left me to my devices, I sucked away at the gas, gazing happily at the RDH ED sticker on the bed across from me.
It wasn’t long till the nitrous filled my entire body, and my head felt light, my arms and shoulders tingly, and there were pretty lights everywhere. As I sucked away and climbed the heights of drug induced euphoria, I composed in my mind the most wonderful blog post ever. I even started to giggle at the sheet brilliance of it!
If only I could have caught on camera the wonder of the thoughts in my mind, I’m sure it would have gone viral.
It was the epitome of all blog posts.
Unfortunately Straff (as read in my drug induced haze) and the doctor returned, with talk of ‘just pop it in,’ and my blissful state was tinged with slight apprehension.
The doctor asked me how the drugs were working. I can’t remember my exact answer, but it was obviously complimentary enough that even stony faced Straff cracked a smile and declared I had had too much.
And then told me to keep sucking.
The doc clicked my toe, which was painful, and then I waited for the pain to ease as I had been promised.
‘hmmm,’ he said. ‘Does that hurt?’
‘It did when you moved it, and it hurts when you touch it… And yeah it actually really hurts a lot!’
My voice sounded weird and deep from the gas, and I forgot to try and keep my mouth closed, not having had time to brush my teeth.
‘Yeah. I think it’s broken. I didn’t feel it click. ‘
‘So you straightened my broken toe?’
‘Yeah. Sorry about that….But at least you got the gas!’
I believe my exact response at that point was ‘Yes! I win!’ Obviously the up side to a broken toe, lots of pain, and the devastating heartbreak at not being able to continue bridge to 10k for a few weeks, is being able to say to my husband, ‘I was right! Na na na, na na na!’
Which just goes to prove that I am not a complete drama queen.
I’m just an uncoordinated blogger who will apparently do anything for a story.
Awesome Doc actually photocopied the film as ‘proof.’ The red line is the break
Oh Poor Jess, you didn’t have to go to those extremes. You made me giggle though. I hope you aren’t in too much pain over the next few days. Rachel xx
Rachel from Redcliffe Style recently posted..Wrinkles be gone!!
Thanks Rach. Its actually not to bad today, but I have got a great limp happening!
OMG ouch! I’m hoping you have the equivalent of nitrous oxide at home now to help you get through the recovery time? Or at least lots of sav blanc in the pantry? Only you could see the humour in a broken toe Jess. Love it! xo
Misha – TheBlingBuoy recently posted..My Miss Universe Pageant entry
No no much of anything!
It’s not too bad today cause it is strapped nice and tight and a lot of the swelling has come down. The kids keep stepping on it though and that hurts!
I too, was struggling for IBOT inspiration this week but fortunately for my extremities was able to dig up a draft I had lurking about!! I’m not a fan of toes or broken bones but I do like a little happy gas from time to time. Pethidine is the real deal though
I hope you & your wonky toe are feeling better soon, crazy girl!! xxx
Nee Say recently posted..Do I know you?
Oh Pethidine is great isn’t it? I haven’t found a hard core drug I haven’t loved yet.
Like I said; an unhealthy appreciation for them!
Glad you had a post and didn’t have to break anything. Though maybe we could have that as a theme one week…
oh honey!! Im so glad you are okay – what a great post though i giggled all the way through it, and I am so glad you ‘won’ and got to prove boatman wrong lol.
i had a massive unco stack last night trying to run to catch up with Adam – straight through a chain link fence. I knew it must have looked bad when i was trying to laugh and he was WAY too serious for my liking. In fact, 12 hours later whilst he is calling me crash bandicoot, i still don’t think he has laughed. Hmph.
Oh no! Mind you I am giggling at the image of it!
I’m assuming you’re ok?
Oh, you poor old thing Jess! I broke my toe when I was at highschool and I remember that it really hurt
I hope you get lots and lots of sympathy 
Nicole (SportyMummy) recently posted..I Think Facebook has Changed
I got none! Boatman thought it was hilarious, and Bailey obviously got me confused with a horse and said he thought Daddy might kill me now!
Oh well. It was funny
As I casually mentioned last night and the other half just sniggered in validation, I’ve been so coordinated in the past two years, that I’ve broken the same toe you did, twice and the one next to it, once. I always did do things to extreme. Mind you, other than casually mentioning each incident at a routine doctors appointment, I’ve never taken to drugs. Perhaps I should have…;)
Speedy healing and love to you! xxXOoo
cj recently posted..*Phew* It’s all over!
I wouldn’t have taken the drugs, except that they thought it was dislocated so needed to be out back, and they recommended it!
Also i do really like gas!
Sorry to hear about the toe Jess. I broke my same toe (other foot) in high school, and it is STILL huge and wonky (over 15 years later). For such little parts of the body, all the way on the extremities, they can cause a LOT of pain!
But thanks for thinking of us here at IBOT, and going to so much effort for your post! Happy healing!
Julie recently posted..Help! My (almost) 17-month-old doesn’t talk!
Any time Julie! Got to keep people entertained!
It’s amazing how much one small body part can hurt isn’t it?
OUCH!
Deb recently posted..Working out working out (again!)
Yes!
It’s better today though
Oh noooooo! And why didn’t the doc take an X-ray first before he tried to click it! Anyway hope it heals properly.. Rest well and don’t hobble around too much!
Sorry cant link up today as I wrote a review. I’m still hopping around though
Ai Sakura recently posted..Bub & Me: Sky-Land-Sea Singapore Adventure!
Thanks Ai. You can link your review though if you want.
I think it would have needed to be straightened anyway, and they were just hoping for a quick fix. Plus they were all pretty sure it was just dislocated.
Made for a good story though
I’ve broken both of my little toes… within weeks of each other… Ouchies!!! I still think bloggers should be able to file for compo!!!
I hope your little piggy feels better soon xo
Cassandra recently posted..Sew Clever! – A little fabric buying tip…
Maybe we need to start a union…
Ouch!!! Hope you arnt in too much pain while it heals. x
Lifeasmummymax recently posted..April Photo A day
Thanks Joz. It’s actually not too bad today, though I can’t put my weight on it obviously. Not enough to stop me from the doing the housework
*sigh*
Oh dear.. How inconvenient! My Mum, Sister and Wedding Dress Maker all broke their little toe a week before my wedding.. I didn’t take it as a sign! Just thought it was more funny than anything!
Only thing I have broken is my head. Cracked my scull open a few times.. when I was 7 my sister was tickling me and she kinda dropped me and my head went back onto the door corner.
When I was 17 I got hit by a car crossing the road.. woke up 7 hrs later in hospital with a blood clot in my brain.. cracked scull and lots of pain.. They were going to operate to get it out but instead it dissolved over a few months. The down side of that is that I still suffer from bad migraines..
Broke my nose and kneecap when I crashed my car into a tree.. slid out of a corner on oily road.. when I was 19.
Upside those are the only times I have broken anything
knocking on wood as I type..
Yvette @ DTlilsquirts recently posted..How To: Add a Follow Me Button to Blogger
Oh my! My toe seems so lame in comparison to that!
Glad you survived!
ooooo forgot the most important thing..
You have had a comment left by a member of #teamIBOT
I loooooove #TeamIBOT! Xxxx
Only you would go to those lengths for IBOT Jess!!! Well done for giving one for the team, we appreciate it
Someone has to do it right?
big hugs – i am a total klutz (and my girls have inherited that trait) – have visited the emergency room many times in my childhood and broken my toes 3 times – thankfully all other injuries were bad sprains and such). I walk into doorways and walls and my husband looks at me like i am nuts while i insist someone moved them ; )
at least you got to enjoy the good stuff …instead of sitting there suffering xx
Deb @ Home life simplified recently posted..Simple ways to step out of your comfort zone
Oh I do it too! Al the time in to walls and Boatman doesn’t get it either! I’m sure someone moves them….
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
That made me cringe and squirm (not only because I hate feet!). Hope you’re still being given ‘the good stuff’ for the pain.
Workingwomenaus recently posted..It really does ‘take a village’…
Sorry to make you uncomfortable. I know toes can quite upset some people!
No pain relief after but it’s been ok. Until I stepped on one of the kids toys this morning! Ouch!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
Far out! That story was really hard to read! And that photo!!! OUCH! I’ve never broken a bone (touch wood, touch my head) but I think I would faint from having a doctor “straighten out my toe” – despite the gas. Well done. And all in the name of blogging
Grace recently posted..When the world’s a stage…
It wasnt too bad; he did it really quickly. And it’s not too sore now, though I’m frustrated at not being able to run.
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
You are hilarious! I broke that very same toe last year! Oh the pain, but I was preggers at the time so no fun gas for me just lots of scans to see if our baby was okay after I landed flat on my back! I too love that happy gas, oh it’s the thing I look forward to most in pregnancy – you know, apart from the whole baby thing!
Lauren @ The Surprise Beginning recently posted..Are You Hitting Your Events?
I’m surpised they didn’t give it to you even though you were pregnant! If its safe in labour I would have thought it was fine then too!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
Ouch, it hurts when you accidentally kick a couch with a toe let alone break it! Hope you’re on the mend x
Carli@tinysavages recently posted..Products I’m Trialling – Organic Skincare
Thanks Carli. It actually hasn’t been too bad since. Hopefully it heals quickly
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
Oh Jess, that sounds PAINFULL. But glad you get to tell Boatman you were right. What was his reaction to the news that you were right n he was wrong?
Hope your toe recovers soon.
I am rather coordinated so dont tend to get hurt often.
Lisa recently posted..Mental Health- It Matters
Well when I showed him the X-ray he realised what a good job I had done and actually showed me some compassion, so that was nice!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
ouchy ouch – hope it is on the mend xo
Trish recently posted..Giveway Tuesday Matinee ~ Happy Feet 2
Thanks Trish, yes it’s getting better. Kicking it this morning was probably not the best idea though….
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
#TeamIbot offers its leader all sympathy and empathy….LOLLING away too, behind my hand…ONLY you Jess could write that….does RDH have you as a ‘frequent flyer…’ aka patient. Sorry, that was not necessary. Back to sympathy mode. I too have broken my toe. Stubbed it. HARD. Twice (separate occasions) I am notorious for not looking where I am going.In fact, did break bones in right leg, slipping down our front drive. YES. No-one helped me up, nor heard me..so I crawled, walked, hopped inside where a calm and cool Hub said, ahh you can go to the local dr if you think it’s needing seen to..and after he’d had shower, arvo tea he drove me up…I hopped, cried, jumped…to the surgery. Oh. no X-ray yet. Gotta wait. 1 hour later, one Xray one exclamation of “shit” from me, one drive to local private hospital, one temp plaster, one night to wait, one surgery with pins, one awfully cranky pants me who had a plaster and could do NOTHING for 6 weeks.
I always look where I am going now Jess.
BTW, I am glad you put a warning about feet…Glowless would have a conniption with that photo.
Denyse X
Oh my Denyse, that is a terrible story! And I’m slightly jealous that it would have made a much funnier blog post than this!
As for the frequent rewards program, not yet, but I am working on it!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
Oh your poor toe. I’ve done the kick the table, knee the table. bump into the corner type of things. And like your husband does mine cracks up as well. At least were entertaining.
Salz recently posted..Searching for care.
Entertaining is always good right!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
Oh, no!!! You poor thing! I am the most uncoordinated person alive. I constantly trip over myself and am a walking disaster! I hope you heal quickly and next week you don’t need to harm yourself for a post
Becky from Becky and James recently posted..One Little Word | Refocus
Thanksa Becky. Xx
As for next weeks post… I won’t if you won’t ok?
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
When I cry from laughing it’s a good thing right? I just did that.
Hope your toe is better soon, you poor darlin. Sending you love and hugs xxxx
P.S. Thanks… you know why xxx
miss.cinders recently posted..Deep Breath
I’m glad I could make you cry.
I mean laugh.
I mean…. Oh I have no idea what I mean!
Love you! Xxx
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
Talk about dedication! Great post, thanks for sharing. Hope Boatman is taking good care of you and it heals quickly. Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses lovely
Rhianna recently posted..Accountability
As the leader of #TeamIBOT I believe it is my duty to model the kind of dedication and commitment necessary to continue to make this linky the best there is!
Next week I shall pass the candle to you!
Just kidding.
Please don’t break anything!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
Oh you poor thing Jess – though I am laughing as I type this cause I can totally imagine you off our face and gushing at the Doctors. I wish I could have been there. Hope that little toe doesnt give you too much troubl hun xxx
Sonia @ Life Love and Hiccups recently posted..So Winter – Wanna be friends??
Oh I was high as a kite! Then the nurse sent me hobbling off to X-ray (no crutches or anything) and told me to follow the red line, which I did, and which sent me to a dead end of a doctors station. So there I am, as stoned as anything, asking where X-ray is, cause I followed the red line, and this is the red line!
The doctor had to tell me three times to follow the red line around a corner before it sunk in.
So embarrassing!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
Owwwwchheee JEss!! I have little tears from thinking about them trying to pop your poor little broken toe back into place. Hugs to you tough Mama xxxx Fi
Fiona @ My Mummy Daze recently posted..5 lessons my parents’ separation taught me
nothing worse then a stumped toe because you can’t really do much for it! But i love your sense of humour! Soldier on girlfriend! xx
tahlia – the parenting files recently posted..fun outdoor games
That I shall do!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
Aye karumba! That looks painful Jess. Thank heavens for wine and nitrous oxide!
Janet recently posted..Yummy Mummy or Motherly Mother?!
Amen to that!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
Ouch! I have never broken a bone, but I did manage to break a bone in my sister’s foot when I slammed a door on her foot. Your toe looks just as bad! Hope you feel better soon
Robyn (@slightly_deep) recently posted..Two under two
I’m sure your sister would have been suitable impressed with that! Not!
It’s not too bad.
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
Ouch Jess! Broken toes are not fun at all! And you don’t realise how much it impacts on life until it hurts!! Glad the nitrous oxide helped though…it’s never worked for me. Hope you have a speedy recovery.
Debbie @ Aspiring Mum recently posted..Intentional Direction
A lot of people can’t use the gas, but it’s always been wonderous for me. Too good really!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
Oh I feel your pain – almost! I dislocated that same toe a few years back (making the bed!) and had to drive myself to the GP’s surgery so they could pop it back in. Lucky you – I didn’t get gas!
Hope you get to milk the recovery with feet up for as long as possible {wink}
Tonya, The Crafty Mummy recently posted..Tagging on Instagram
No milking here unfortunately!
I think that’s the advantage of going to the hosital (the gas.) normally I would have gone to the GP, but because it was a public holiday, my options were very limited!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
OMG! I was never the graceful swan but this really looked like it hurt. Hope it’s recovering soon yeah!!
Summer recently posted..1, 2, 3, Smile!
It’s not too bad thanks Summer. I’m not particularly gracefull myself!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo
You’re hardcore! Don’t think I’d go to those lengths for a post – though I remember gas from the kilometres of stitches I had after each of my melon headed children and yeah, I could go me some of that!
Sif recently posted..Walking a mile in his moccasins…
That gas is wonderful stuff isn’t it? Oh how I love it!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..On the Hunt for Mojo