When I was a teenager, I had a green ‘Fame’ shirt, which I loved.
I loved the colour, I loved the cut, but I loved most of all what it said.
Fame.
Not just for the sake of fame, like Paris Hilton, but for doing something .
For being an exceptional person.
And to have greater opportunity to make the world a better place.
I think a lot of people can relate to that. Some won’t; there are those that are happy to work behind the scenes, and just do things quietly, so long as someone notices them.
Others of us crave the spotlight; the stage.
We want it all.
Yesterday as I was driving in the car, I overhead something on the radio about teenage values in the present day compared to in the past, and how social media played a part in the decline of moral values such as kindness, and community.
Having missed half the discussion because Bailey was chatting in the back seat, when I got home I decided to google it to see what the fuss was all about.
The study, was of course, American.
Most of them are.
For a period of 40 years, from 1967 to 2007, the department of psychology at the Unifverstiy of California, analysed the two most popular tween shows of the decade, to see how they influenced mainstream values. (For a much more accurate description, read here.)
In 2007, ten years later, fame was the number one most desired attribute. Followed by Image, Popularity, Achievement and Financial Success.
Community Feeling and Benevolence came in at 11th and 12th.
Now the radio put this down to the rise of Social Media, so I’m only assuming they were looking at a different study, as Facebook was only finding its feet back then, and Twitter…. Well was that even around?
You Tube definitely wasn’t the popularity making avenue it is today.
Now whilst this of course raises issues about the way our children are growing up, it made me take a good long look at myself.
Do I want to be popular?
I guess.
Maybe.
Do I want to be famous?
Again, only if it’s for doing something.
Do I want to be kind?
All the time.
Do I want be a a community minded person, and put others first.
Yes absolutely.
Am I willing, even in the slightest, to put my own achievements and goals ahead of the good of others?
No.
I refuse to.
Give me fame yes.
But not at any cost.
But what is fame? Is it the number of Facebook friends or likers you have?
In the blogging world, that number is looked at pretty significantly. But 1000 likers does not necessarily translate into blog traffic. A ‘Liker’ is not always an engaged reader.
What about Twitter? Are those numbers important?
You don’t have to spend long on there to discover a lot of random people ‘following’ you. Most whom you will never interact with ever.
And You Tube? Well I guess there are a lot of hopefuls out there hoping they will be the next Justin Beiber, or HollyWood ‘rags to riches’ stories. Hey, even I live in hope that one day one of my crazy vlogs will go viral. But if it does, what then? Does that make me famous? And do I then have the freedom to walk all over all the little people who are obviously now less than me?
Is this, what we, as a society are aiming for?
What are we trying to prove? Is it just because we are so self focused, and intent on someone noticing who we are, that we walk around planning our next big thing, and we forget to see those around us, doing the exact same thing?
Because it seems to me, if we all just want to be noticed, maybe we could rectify the problem and get back to the basics of Benevolence and Community Feeling. Saying hello to the people we pass in the street. Being kind just for kindness sake.
Doing extraordinary things for ordinary people, because we believe they are extraordinary.
I don’t smile at everyone I see on the street. Sometimes I’m quite rude. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I’m an imperfect person.
But I try.
Over and over and over again.
And if it came to choosing kindness or choosing popularity…. Well for me it’s a no brainer.
What about you?
Do you think achievement, image, wealth and popularity is emphasised and encouraged more than kindness, generosity, and the well being of others?
And if so, what can we, as small, not-famous people do to change it?
Oh I love your blogs.. you always make perfect or shall we say inperfect sense to me.
Thanks Cathryn
Imperfect all the way!!!
For me, it’s about choosing kindness and doing good first (although, I’m far from the perfect model). Fame (especially the stuff that sticks and has substance) is, I think, derived from doing stuff for others. When you look at the celebrities who are really super popular, they’re also the ones that are the biggest philanthropists (Angelina Jolie, George Clooney etc) They’re all doing something more beyond their arts…
Grace recently posted..A Mama’s no-brainer {Survey promotion and chance to win a grand prize worth $5,000}
Yeah that is true, but there a lot of famous divas as well.
And I guess they are more famous for what they do, then what they give. For instance I didn’t know George Clooney was a philanthropist.
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..Fame
I think fame would be awful, personally, but I think most people would like recognition for a job well done – which is quite different
Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right recently posted..What do The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and One Direction have in common?
Boatman and I had this discussion, and he thought the same as you!
I guess I don’t want fame in the sense that people take my photo at every available opportunity, but more because I think it brings opportunities to do so much more good.
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..Fame
I should add, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the film
I’m sure you know this well, being a fan of the movie, but I need to share my favourite song from it, ‘I Sing the Body Electric’: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vex8KxE6Ndc
Isn’t it the best?
Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right recently posted..What do The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and One Direction have in common?
I can so relate to this, I wrote a post once not so much about fame but about the desire to do something extrodinary. http://www.alittlespacelikehome.com/2012/02/i-always-wanted-to-be-extraordinary.html
It’s about the same thing, the need to be recognised for doing something not just being someone.
I guess there is still time, but I am trying to focus on self acceptance that we grow up and have our little space in the world and doing that well is extrodinary in itself.
I’m not quite there yet.
Mandy recently posted..Grateful for a sense of Winter
That was a beautiful post Mandy. Xxx
I guess the thing is, that we can’t all be famous, but we can all be extraordinary.
I’m like you, in that I know I have greatness inside of me. But I don’t want it for the sake of fame; I want it because I want to make a difference.
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..Fame
Well I for one have to say that I am more a little stunned at my own popularity. I’ve always set out to just be myself. Be true to my own beliefs and have faith in myself and my abilities. When I was asked to make my blog public (around 18 months ago), I was shocked anyone would care to read it… let alone like it!
xxXOoo
Changing to my own domain was a tad scary… but it was a gift from my partner… and here I am.
Just me.
I love that you are just you too.
cJ recently posted..The questions Google can’t answer…
Being yourself is the best way to be, and it’s not worth being anything else in my book. Too time consuming!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..Fame
I think we all need to realise that what we do will impact on others. Even the small things..
I read a story yesterday about a taxi driver who went to pick up the passenger.The passenger was late and he horned a few times, then went up to the door. He saw that the passenger was an old lady on the way to stay at a hospice because she has no family, and was going to die. In the taxi she asked to go through town… the taximan obliged and even turned off the meter. The whole journey took 2 hrs.
To cut the story short, the taxi driver was not obliged to take a longer route, or not charge her for it, or to even wait for her when she did not come out after a few horns. It was going to be her last ride on the way to the hospice.. maybe her last ride before she died so thankfully, somebody was kind enough and had a great impact on her, even if he didn’t mean to.
Sorry for the story-telling! Anyway my point is that there are things that we go through life not thinking about. But when someone points it out {like you in this post or the taxi driver story}, we should try to think more about it and not let the feeling slide away…
Ai Sakura recently posted..Because the Music Matters | Monster Cable 2012 Collection Launch
It’s all relative really isn’t it? If you have such a positive impact on someone that it charges them, you become their hero, and that is no small thing.
You’re right. We all need to take more time to think about the small things and how to make life better for others.
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..Fame
I wonder what the results of such a survey would be for Australians?
Fame, achievement or whatever has its place, but not if it’s at the expense of others.
Jayne recently posted..Damn Unpretty
I agree! Fame in itself isn’t bad, but it depends on what is done with it and what it is for. And never at the expense of other people.
Robyn (@slightly_deep) recently posted..Just swim
No, never at the expense of others. It’s sad that others think that’s acceptable.
Yeah I wonder that too; particularly with how we cheer for the underdog. It was interesting nevertheless.
Oh man, I want to do something AWESOME, but I never want to be famous.
I want to change the world, but I hope no one recognises me from the photo on the back cover if you know what I mean?
I get what you mean – it’s a catch 22 – if you do something great people will want to know you, but once people know you do they remember the great thing you did?
I think this blogging community helps a little bit of the way with kindness and community coming ahead of fame and fortune. Sometimes blogging can be the completel opposite, but bloggers individually, are some of the kindest and most community minded people I’ve ever met!
Daisy recently posted..How Do I Cope, Part Two
I think thats true Daisy. Particularly when you meet them in person.
And I get what you mean for wanting to do something awesome.
I feel like I didn’t quite right this the ways wanted to…
Hi Jess, You’re absolutely right! Being yourself is the best way to be.
sky554 recently posted..Best Car Insurance
Nothing better right?
I absolutely think that kindness is so undervalued these days. Something that really bugs me is that the people who shout the loudest, complain the most and cause a scene are the ones that get their way. Being kind, honest, polite and caring counts for nothing next to someone making a loud complaint, or so it seems to me. Sorry, got a bit off topic there, but that’s what your post made me think of.
Visiting form FYBF.
Kylie @ Octavia and Vicky recently posted..Opportunity Knocks
I think you are exactly right there! It’s hard to teach your kids kindness and consideration for others, when doing so usually means they get left out or forgotten!
Not off topic at all.