Decide that you are going to branch out into the area of craft blogging, in the hope that one day you might get a PR company offer you free fabric.
In the absence of free PR sponsored fabric, agree to make a quilt for your nephews 16th birthday, with a ridiculous deadline, because your sister is paying for it.
Upon receiving said fabric, realise that your chosen pattern will now not work, so quickly choose another one based on colours and aesthetic satisfaction, with no consideration of complexity or ridiculous deadline.
Begin to make quilt as per instructions.
At about the fourth instruction realise that said pattern is not just complex, but damn nigh impossible, and that the new fabric doesn’t really work either.
Start ignoring instructions and decide to do it your own way.
In a moment of delusional loftiness, decide that you quite possibly have changed the pattern enough to turn the whole process into a tutorial, and join the ranks of wonder craft bloggers.
As part of your plan for world blog domination, begin to take photos of every step of the process.
As the deadline draws closer, have an epiphany.
You do not have enough time.
You are not a master quilter by any stretch of the imagination.
You have not changed the pattern substantially at all and cannot claim ownership and thus tutorial status. Which is a good thing, because you have forgotten to keep taking step by step instructional iPhone photos. (Nothing but the best when it comes to craft blogging my friend.)
Send your husband fishing and order takeaway for the kids so you can spend the whole night sewing, and miss the dramatic season final of one of your favourite shows.
In the three days prior to the ridiculous deadline, decide that there really is nothing like a bit of pressure to heighten the whole process, and fill every available minute with social engagements. An example of such would be three birthday parties, a speaking opportunity at church, a parenting course and grocery shopping. If that’s not enough, you could also decide that the intermittent lower right abdominal pain your five year old is experiencing, coupled with vomiting, is probably appendicitis, and so throw in a neurotic, crazed mother doctors appointment wherever you can. It’s only effective though if you take along all your children, pay an exorbitant fee, and perfect your overreactive parent face.
Some how, in the midst of the chaos, finish said project; you can hardly be a craft blogger if you haven’t neglected your housework and family to make something beautiful can you?
For extra points:
When planning to post your item, arrive at the shopping complex prior to Australia Post opening, and so wander aimlessly around K-Mart to pass the time. Forget to take a bag, so that you have the quilt rolled up in your arms like a security blanket. If anyone gives you odd looks just look back and say, ‘it’s ok, I’m a craft blogger,’ and hand out your business card.
If you follow all my tips, not only will you be a successful craft blogger like myself, but I’m sure it will be only moments before the PR requests come rolling in.
And if they don’t, sorry.
They’re all obviously headed towards me.