Step 1.
Decide that you are going to branch out into the area of craft blogging, in the hope that one day you might get a PR company offer you free fabric.
Step 2.
In the absence of free PR sponsored fabric, agree to make a quilt for your nephews 16th birthday, with a ridiculous deadline, because your sister is paying for it.
Step 3.
Give your sister ambiguous instructions when it comes to the fabric order, so that she does, in fact, purchase the wrong one.
Step 4.
Upon receiving said fabric, realise that your chosen pattern will now not work, so quickly choose another one based on colours and aesthetic satisfaction, with no consideration of complexity or ridiculous deadline.
Step 5.
Begin to make quilt as per instructions.
Step 6.
At about the fourth instruction realise that said pattern is not just complex, but damn nigh impossible, and that the new fabric doesn’t really work either.
Start ignoring instructions and decide to do it your own way.
Step 7.
In a moment of delusional loftiness, decide that you quite possibly have changed the pattern enough to turn the whole process into a tutorial, and join the ranks of wonder craft bloggers.
As part of your plan for world blog domination, begin to take photos of every step of the process.
Step 8.
As the deadline draws closer, have an epiphany.
You do not have enough time.
You are not a master quilter by any stretch of the imagination.
You have not changed the pattern substantially at all and cannot claim ownership and thus tutorial status. Which is a good thing, because you have forgotten to keep taking step by step instructional iPhone photos. (Nothing but the best when it comes to craft blogging my friend.)
Step 9.
Send your husband fishing and order takeaway for the kids so you can spend the whole night sewing, and miss the dramatic season final of one of your favourite shows.
Step 10.
In the three days prior to the ridiculous deadline, decide that there really is nothing like a bit of pressure to heighten the whole process, and fill every available minute with social engagements. An example of such would be three birthday parties, a speaking opportunity at church, a parenting course and grocery shopping. If that’s not enough, you could also decide that the intermittent lower right abdominal pain your five year old is experiencing, coupled with vomiting, is probably appendicitis, and so throw in a neurotic, crazed mother doctors appointment wherever you can. It’s only effective though if you take along all your children, pay an exorbitant fee, and perfect your overreactive parent face.
Step 11.
Some how, in the midst of the chaos, finish said project; you can hardly be a craft blogger if you haven’t neglected your housework and family to make something beautiful can you?
For extra points:
When planning to post your item, arrive at the shopping complex prior to Australia Post opening, and so wander aimlessly around K-Mart to pass the time. Forget to take a bag, so that you have the quilt rolled up in your arms like a security blanket. If anyone gives you odd looks just look back and say, ‘it’s ok, I’m a craft blogger,’ and hand out your business card.
If you follow all my tips, not only will you be a successful craft blogger like myself, but I’m sure it will be only moments before the PR requests come rolling in.
And if they don’t, sorry.
They’re all obviously headed towards me. 
You are so awesome. Loved the post, loved the quilt. Hope you have a great weekend and it all slows down a bit for you now.
Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses to you lovely
Rhianna Suttie-Gunson recently posted..The Price To Pay
Yeah me too. Quiet and boring would be nice for a few days!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..How to (Not) be a Successful Craft Blogger
haha, love the post !!!!!!!
what an awesome job on the quilt- i want one
Hayley – Happyhousewifey recently posted..Toy Storage
Very funny! Quilt does look awesome and love the smile on your nephews face!
That quilt is beautiful!!!!
We don’t need to be craft bloggers to be awesome. We have each other.
Daisy recently posted..Parenting Styles: Are they for the child, or the parent?
Very true Daisy.
Very true.
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..Separation Anxiety- A Rant
That quilt looks awesome, and complicated. I can’t sow very well so would never be able to do something great like that.
Sounds like it was a stressfull time for you getting it finished. Hope your 5 year old is ok.
Lisa recently posted..My ideas, dreams, thoughts for the new house
Yes thanks Lisa, she is fine. Was just a virus thankfully. Xx
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..Separation Anxiety- A Rant
It looks absolutely amazing. I love quilting (not doing it, have never done it, but will when the kids leave home and I also take up knitting and bridge).
Worth every moment of angst.
Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right recently posted..And tonight’s specials are…
Hey it may have been hodge podge and crooked and whatever, but you joined all those pieces together in a secure fashion to create a single blanket to provide warmth. That’s a win in my book!
Michelle @ Blundermum recently posted..Accidental deadlines
It’s a win in mine too!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..Separation Anxiety- A Rant
OMG that quilt is gorgeous! I want one!
Rhia recently posted..Bullet Dodged- A Modern Day Fairytale
Jess that quilt looks bloody awesome. I’m very impressed. But the other thing that strikes me, is the fact that you are wearing summer clothes, yeah I get it, you live in the top end, but as I sit here and type and my fingers freeze up, I’m so jealous right now.
Glad that I’m not the only one who has sewing ordeals.
Mandy recently posted..My Bellarine Pennisula Big 4 Escape
Ha it’s actually quite cold for Darwin.
But we are all ridiculously soft when it comes to cooler weather up here.
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..Separation Anxiety- A Rant
You did an awesome job! Craft blog away, but maybe pick something easier and forget the deadlines, or you might go completely loopy (like I would!).
Laney @ Crash Test Mummy recently posted..Condition Report: How I’m really feeling
Yes it’s good to stack the odds in favour of success!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..Separation Anxiety- A Rant
OK you convinced me I won’t be a craft blogger. I could never do all those things so I would be a failure at being a failure….Wait..What?
cranky old man recently posted..HAVING STUFF – a Cranky re-run
Exactly!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..Separation Anxiety- A Rant
I don’t even know how to sew and I’m inspired.
I’m impressed Jess! I’ve always wanted to try quilting, and now I know just what to do!
I don’t think I’ll blog about my attempts though, if it’s anything like my crochet efforts it will be way to embarrassing!
Mum of Adult Kids recently posted..All I want for my 21st birthday is to see my teeth
Do it! And blog it too!
Everyone needs a giggle ocassionally!
Your quilt looks fabulous and your nephew looks very pleased!
BTW – You cannot go wrong with a jelly roll of “A Stitch in Color”.
Samelia’s Mum recently posted..The Zakka Revolution
This was the first time I have worked with jelly rolls and I really liked it!
Although there are far too many mistakes for my liking, that I just didn’t have time to fix, I am pretty happy with the result.
Love the photo of your nephew proudly showing off his beautiful hand made with love quilt.You are one very clever chicky babe xx
Thanks Deb xx
That quilt is AMAZING, Jess!!! Well done on a fabulous job and the crazy deadline ! Look how happy your nephew is in it too ! Priceless. All well worth it, right ?
Grace recently posted..FYBF – Return of the Princess Leia buns
Absolutely worth it!
Though any future requests will be dependent on a much larger time frame!
Love your work Jess. Love your work.
And the quilt is ace! xx
Lee recently posted..{32/52} being and doing
Thanks Lee. Xx
What a gorgeous quilt, make all the more gorgeous by your hilarious commentary
Kylie @ Octavia and Vicky recently posted..I’m a pin up girl
Gasp you missed the finale of your fave show?? I hope your nephew cried tears of joy :p it looks really lovely btw!
Ai Sakura recently posted..Singapore Blog Awards 2012 | Best Family Blog Finalist E-interview
I did! I need to watch it online. Might do it tonight after responding to comments
Lol…. I always knew there was a reason why I don’t do quilting!!!
Welcome to my blogging world!!! hehehe…. remembering to take pics is a pain in the butt sometimes! Then you’ve got to edit the pics so that they are good enough to be displayed on artsy fartsy craft curator and tutorial websites…. (I haven’t mastered this part yet… I’m waiting on an email, requesting me to review their you beaut nikon camera!!!hehehe)
I’m still waiting for a PR company to pitch me about fabrics… or a sewing machine would be nice too!
Your quilt is beautiful Jess!!! It’s just awesome! <3
Cassandra recently posted..Scrappy Applique
I kind of love quilts and enjoy the process of making them more than making something else, but they can be fiddly.
Rude that you haven’t been given a camera, a sewing machine and a fabric shop yet. What are these PR people up to?
I have this secret / latent desire to make a patchwork quilt. I must confess though that I’m very un-crafty. Like, if there’s an antonym for ‘crafty’, I’m the opposite.
I keep thinking I could just buy lots of funky material, cut them in squares and sew them together by hand (I don’t have a sewing machine, cos I can’t sew). But then I see instructions which involve doing more to the squares rather than just sewing them together. And I get scared.
Sigh.
Deb
Deb recently posted..Winners are grinners
You can do it! My first quilt was done from the instructions of a better homes and garden magazine, with my mums old sewing machine, which while helpful, was also prone to playing up and driving em around the bend!
You can hand sew one; lots of people do, though it would probably take you forever.
But if you want to do it, I say do it!
Hehe, this post was too funny. Love how your quilt turned out. I hope those PR companies get their act together and start sending you those supplies!
Ronnie xo
Pink Ronnie recently posted..Projects for May & June
Me too!
HAHA!! Oh that’s classic!! And hey, that free fabric is MIIIIIIIIIIINE!!
Alyce {Blossom Heart} recently posted..A Mobile House Tour
Ok you can have it, so long as there is a giveaway and I win ok?
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