The mothers of boys will know that a strange thing happens when you discover your offspring has a penis; you become oddly protective of it him.
Obviously, any child that is welcomed into your family is loved and treated with a precious honour, but there is something in a woman that is awoken with the birth of a son. A fierce protectiveness that is best summarised in the words of Monica from Friends.
“I’m gonna love you so much, no woman will ever be good enough for you!”
Which is not really the goal, but it definitely sums up the emotion.
So when my dear sweet Bailey told me after Pre-school on Wednesday, that he had accidentally kissed a girl, my mother-bear instinct went into overdrive.
Facebook likers, will already know the conversation went like this
Bailey: I accidentally kissed someone today.
Me: How did that happen?
Bailey: She asked me.
Me: who did?
Bailey: Clara*
Me: (thinking I would be having a giggle with Clara’s mum over this, and also secretly pleased he has such good taste) really?
Bailey: Oh, not Clara, Jenna*
Me: Where did you kiss her?
Bailey: In the sandpit.
I paused the conversation there, partly because I needed time to process, but also because I had washing to hang out.
But there was still more to this story I felt I was missing, so I soon pulled him on my lap and asked the question.
Me: So did you kiss Clara or Jenna or both?
Bailey: Jenna. (Understanding a little more his statement in the morning of ‘I hope Jenna is here today)
Me: and it was in the sandpit
Bailey: yes but it was an accident.
Me: how was it an accident?
Bailey: well she was walking….
cue visions of me seeing some poor girl walking along, and my son tripping over and his lips falling on hers
Me: I thought she asked you?
Bailey: It was a secret.
Me: So did she ask you?
Bailey: No.
Me: who said it was a secret?
Bailey: well Mrs Galbraith was watching us…
Me: Mrs Galbraith saw you? (Wondering why I hadn’t been accosted by the teacher after class)
Bailey: no.
Me: she didn’t see you?
Bailey: No.
Me: So you kissed Jenna and no one saw?
Bailey: No.
Me: Did Jenna ask you?
Bailey: No. (it was barely a whisper)
Me: So why did you kiss her?
Bailey: (Loudly, dramatically, and like he was auditioning for a day time soap opera), BECAUSE I LOVE HER!!
Oh dear.
After some more talking, from what I can gather, my little Don Juan decided he could no longer hide his affections from the apple of his eye, and instead of doing the typical boy thing and throw a rock at her head, he went straight for the sugar. I’m not entirely sure what her reaction was; according to him she wasn’t angry and she liked it (well of course), but his attitude was that of the heartbroken. One gets the impression he put his heart out there, and she stomped on it like only a woman could.
Which makes me both angry in one sense, and completely relieved in the other.
I mean, I had had these conversations with the girls at the same age, but I have it on good authority from my little boy, that I am the most beautiful woman in the world, and he is going to stay with me forever. Him seeking the love of another is almost like a slap in my apparently beautiful face!
Of course I told him that he was really too young to be kissing the girls, and that if any girls asked him (which lets face it, could happen! Preschool girls these days….) his response should be ‘I only kiss my mum.’
But considering the reaction from his crush, I’m not going to worry too much about it now.
Though seriously, who could reject this face?
*Obviously not their real names. I don’t think any of the preschool mums read my blog, but I don’t want to suffer their wrath just in case!
OMG what a cracker! For the record, I am always telling my son that no girl will EVER love him as much as I do and my friends are forever giving me grief about it! Nick has just been invited to Mia’s birthday party so I’m going to have to sus out who this “Mia” is!
Aroha @ Colours of Sunset recently posted..Thankful Thursday with the lovely @KateSaysStuff
Yes find out! And then take her behind the playground and tell her very sternly that he is your boy, and to leave him alone! Make her cry if you have to!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..My Son, the Romancer
My big boy is 4 and is madly in love with a little girl at his daycare…. Her mother And I laugh all the time at him… He tells her she’s pretty, she’s a really good dancer and often saves his “best” stickers and rocks just for her! But unfortunately she is his cousin… Somehow on his dads side…. Like his dads cousin had a baby with someone but they are no longer together or something like that…. We keep trying to explain it to him…. Poor thing! Lol
Oh man, that sucks.
Can’t help but ask the question, are you in Tasmania?
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..My Son, the Romancer
Oh this is just adorable.
I get it! I do. But how cute is Bailey? I doubt a girl could be upset over getting a smooch from him.
Oh she isn’t. She has been asking for more since! Little tart!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..My Son, the Romancer
Oh my god what a hilariously cute story! I can see why you want to hold him close and keep the ‘other’ girls away.
Thanks for the laugh and smile x
Carly recently posted..The white rabbit will forever be my nemesis
He is such a dear. This morning he was prattling on about how she is a ‘beautiful dancer’. He will make some woman very happy one day.
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..My Son, the Romancer
I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great. I don’t know who you are but certainly you’re going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already
Cheers!
Oh, we had kissing this week as well!! My boy was kissed by a girl in his prep class. Except he was disappointed it wasn’t this other girl, then when the other girl when to kiss him Girl #1 got protective! Apparently it was on for young &… ummm young. I was a bit shocked by the forwardness of these prep girls but of course my husband was quite proud that the chicks are already fighting over his son
Nee Say recently posted..{Monday’s Minutia} Just another day
Well of course.
I would be shocked, except I was always chasing a boy when I was in transition, convinced we were to be wed.
Poor lad.
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..My Son, the Romancer
Well done Bailey – you are practicing moves that will put you in good stead about 17 years from now.
Kevin recently posted..You turn your back for a minute – Wordless Wednesday
Oh he will be set for life that kid!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..My Son, the Romancer
Oh my gosh, this is just too cute. My boy goes to Day Care with a little girl who he is infatuated with and she with him, she’s two, it’s quite cute. I feel okay about it because I know we’re leaving in a month… it can’t go far!
Becky from BeckyandJames.com recently posted..Going Solo
Are you leaving because of the infatuation?
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..My Son, the Romancer
Oh bless. I love it. I’ve been trying to arrange-marriage-off my Miss6 for at least 2 years now. It’s not that she’s interested in boys, it’s just that I want to make sure I choose the in-laws. So I’ve hit up friends with boys her age, and so far I have 2 “haha, sure”, 1 “bahahaha, hell yeah…Bali wedding…we’ll split the costs, okay?” and a few “haha….hahaha…ha….err….ha….you are joking, right?”
No, I’m not.
Okay I am, but I won’t be in 25 years time when I come back to you with the same question.
Parental Parody recently posted..FFS!? Friday: Man flu
Oh I think it is vitally important to pick the inlaws, which is why, when he said he kissed the first girl, I was happy. I’ve already planned for him to marry her!
I just need to get rid of this new girl….
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..My Son, the Romancer
I absolutely love this Jess! Baily is such a character
Catherine Rodie Blagg @CoTaaB recently posted..The A-Z of Relentless Mothering – Part 5
Oh he really is. Such a gorgeous kid.
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..My Son, the Romancer
Haha! I remember seeing you post the conversation on FB and thinking then how cute it was. And I can just see this little boy yell out while sitting on his mum’s lap, “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!!!”
xxx
Oh, to be in love for the first time again!
Soon he’ll be asking you if she can come over for some of your famous sausage rolls and glass of milk
Grace recently posted..FYBF – Thomas the Really Annoying Engine
He’s already been talking about how he is going to marry her!
His proclamation was so funny. I would have cracked up at the drama of it if I wasn’t worried it would break his little heart!
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..My Son, the Romancer
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