There is something that bugs me to no end.
It appeals to my compassionate, bleeding heart nature and forces action even when none would normal be given.
It is, the lonely status.
To me, there is nothing sadder than a lonely Facebook status update. The kind of one that was written three hours ago, and has not got a single like or a comment.
Sometimes, if the updater is having a particularly bad day, or is one of those friends that never writes anything but their latest physical ailment, there may be several lonely status’.
Alone.
Likeless.
With not a friend in the world to care.
Poor lonely status.
It’s not just Facebook, oh no.
The Instagram photo that is vague at best, and weird at worst, that has left all viewers scratching their head, also breaks my heart.
As does the countless random statements on twitter. All with no reply.
A person, somewhere out there, voicing their ailments, and not a friendly person in coo-ee to reply to them.
It hurts my feelings.
Now I realise that most of the time the unliked image or statement posted on line, is unliked for a reason. Either the person is an attention seeker (we all have at least one friend like that.)
Or It’s random and makes no sense, and getting into a conversation about it would just require more energy and battery power than your iPhone can possibly deal with.
But despite that, when I see these lone updates, I can’t help but think of the person uploading them, standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of their lungs while everyone runs past, ‘I have Gastro again! I’m having a fat nose day! The thing that I thought was going to happen can’t because Jupiter is in the wrong position, and I didn’t order pizza even though I felt compelled to, and the third toe on my left foot is tingling, which means I can’t change anything.’
That poor, sad, lonely person.
The result of this bleeding heart compassion, is that I have turned into an ‘I like you slut.’ I’m pretty much liking everything these days, which is no doubt annoying all my actual friends who are getting all the updates on my promiscuity in their new feeds.
In fact, the only thing that is stopping me from not liking, is if I actually don’t like it, or strongly disagree, and enough people do so that I don’t feel guilty about glossing over it.
I think it’s because the silence of the internet haunts me.
I hate being unliked.
In fact the stats that Facebook gives me seemingly by the minute on how popular my page is, hurt me feelings. Particularly as I’m sure that my low views are directly related to their refusal to publish everything before all my likers, but that is an argument for another day.
But there is something so sad and desperate about not being heard, and I can’t stand the thought of others feeling unloved.
So I go through and like everything, madly leaving comments like a crazy woman (particularly when I happen upon a commentless blog post), and hope that the person will appreciate that I was there.
Will know that even if they are having the most ridiculous day ever, or it is in fact 2 in the morning and the only reason I am awake is because I have a sore belly, that I was there, I saw and I liked.
I think people deserve to be liked.
Or do you reserve your liking for the people that deserve it?
Linking with With Some Grace, whose obviously on the same wave length, and her post explains why there are so many lonely people in Facebook land.
As I am not on Facebook or Instagram, I cannot comment on those, but as ‘the queen of comment-less blog posts’, I just wanted to add, that sometimes, that person is not always a poor, sad, lonely person. Some, again, speaking for myself not others, blog simply to blog. Not crying out for attention, not crying out to be liked or heard. Some, just like to blog. And for me, that is the right reason to blog. For ourselves.
Kate recently posted..The dreams we have as children
You’re absolutely right! Not every is sad and lonely; it’s more how I picture the people who get ignored consistently. It must be very demoralizing.
I think it’s great you blog just for you. I blog to be heard which is why I live comments!!
You talking to me?
*crickets*crickets*crickets*
Here from FYBF.
Madmother recently posted..FYBF – The Early Hours
Heh heh
So true! I hate lonely statuses or posts with no comments. Doesn’t take much to ” like” or even comment a little to spread some love and just say, hey I’m here and I saw this. We do it so easily on IG that there’s no reason not to on FB too, right?
Ai Sakura recently posted..U Family Picnic at Marina Barrage + {Giveaway}
Exactly! Not hard to do at all and it makes a real difference to people.
Oh Jess this post is so about me. Not that I blog for attention as such but I rarely get many likes on any of my FB or instagram posts, regardless of how cool I think they are.
Rhianna recently posted..With tragedy comes beauty
I think Facebook is doing the dodgy on us though and not showing people much. I haven’t seen one of your posts there for days!
It makes me sad.
I like you. I heart this post. I give you not just one thumbs up, but two. Heh.
Parental Parody recently posted..FFS!? Friday: Junkies, peanut butter and shed words
Well that makes me feel very special.
You are funny. Naa, I don’t like everything because I don’t want to be bombarded. There is also something wrong with my FB page at the mo so i really don’t care if I’m liked or not but on saying that i do like to encourage people and as you say trying and remove the ‘lonely’ status that someone might be feeling. I don’t know if the internet brings more social experiences or highlights the fact that we can be very alone – it’s a very thin line. I expect in time there will be more and more life line cyber hubs where people can visit if they’re feeling isolated, but nothing is good as face to face. I like that, a lot.
bachelormum recently posted..Children’s story telling sets them up for life
Oh nothing compares to being with people at all!
You’re right though. I’m site in a few years there will be all this psychological studies on how SM has ruined our relationships.
Where is the ‘like’ button? haha
Prue x
Prue recently posted..Keep Your Stress To A Minimum While Travelling
It is there! Just above the comments!
You’re so lovely Jess x
Catherine Rodie Blagg @CoTaaB recently posted..Shed
Naw thanks. You’re lovely too xx
Awww! You’re sweet. I sometimes look at my statuses and think “Really? Only three likes?” Clearly I think they are much better than they are.
I do have an instagram friend who posts such things as her clean washing up pile and same pose selfies regularly. I find those photos difficult to like. hehe.. but you’re right… getting no likes in tough. I will like more in future.
Kaz recently posted..Fly On By Friday #4 – Anything goes fortnightly link party
Well sometimes with those friends I leave it half an hour to see if anyone else feels inclined to share the love so I don’t have to!
Also is that IG friend me? I have posted pics of an empty washing basket and many ridiculous selfies!
Um, no! Not you.. hehe. Good tip about waiting a bit to see what happens
Kaz recently posted..Melting Moments Monday- Hey, she’s my Mummy
OH!!!!!!! I am so the person who posts a FANTASTIC AMAZING FABULOUS Status update…
and get nothing…
But I also post alot of random tacky crap.. so my FANTASTIC AMAZING FABULOUS Status update… might actually be the status updates people don’t like and never press like
HAHAHAHA
love this post Jess!
Popping by via FYBF
Yvette Bowyer recently posted..lil squirts bento lunch – 20/09/12
Ha ha!
I may have deleted like less posts in the past.
May meaning I definitely have.
I am not on FB much but when I am I do tend to like things that I see if nobody else has liked them and I think that they are not worthy of no likes at all !!!
On Instagram I tend to like more than not – often feel that if someone has taken the time to take a photo and share it with us the least I can do is acknowledge seeing it – even if it doesn’t actually appeal to me.
Have a great Friday !
Me
Me recently posted..Random Things I Know
Yes I’m exactly the same! It’s so easy on IG: just double click!
you are so nice aww. yeah i do it sometimes too as it really doesnt take a lot to just like or comment! im sure i would appreciate it even if its an obvious deadend comment…. like this one lol
Mandy recently posted..Truck Drivers, The Wiggles & My Husband Drive Me Nuts
Ha ha! That made me laugh!!
I definitely click like or comment when i see it has been hours and no one else has – it is just a way to acknowledge the other person (and i admit i hate when i get no comments on a blog post i loved and spent ages on – boo)
on personal facebook pages there seems to be a fine line between sharing / funny and “we did not need to know that” LOL
Deb @ Home life simplified recently posted..My adopted home
Yes! One of my friends went into too much detail on her bowel movements last week.
I really couldn’t like that!!
That’s very kind of you Jess.
Often I like a comment so that person knows I’ve read it.
xxx
gemma {my big nutshell} recently posted..Quinoa salad with eggplant and pumpkin
I am very kind you know!!
I’m a bit of a loner, so I can relate to the lonely status. But there is a difference between lonely and alone. Rachel x
Rachel from Redcliffe Style recently posted..Wow your guests with a cheats dessert
Huge difference!
I’m a bit of a loner too!
I can really relate to this! I do tend to ‘like’ a lot of things just as a way of keeping in touch with people when I don’t have time for a longer update (and to think we used to write whole letters!!) I also get very political and purposefully don’t ‘like’ something if I don’t agree with it. This is surely the most passive kind of protest imaginable, but the only alternative to a ‘dislike’ button!
Lara @ This Charming Mum recently posted..Hump Day Hobbies: becoming a Power Mum
Ah yes the silent ignore! Such a passive society we are aren’t we?
I am really ruthless with my time, especially when in situations, like now, where I am feeling overwhelmed with my lack of time and everything I want to do. Those kinds of posts however are the one’s that will stop me and I will make the time to comment because I know how hard it is to reach out, and how akward it is when no one replies with some support.
Anyone who is the single commenter on a post of mine is always appreciated. They’re a person who I feel bonded to and will go out of my way to keep an eye on because I feel like they’ve gone out of their way for me.
Miss Pink recently posted..The Muse Wars. Episode 2.
I get the ruthlessness. I don’t comment on every post I read now, unless I feel compelled, or I have a relationship with that person. Reading their blog is a great way of touching base.
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..The Lonely Status
You have a huge heart there, Jess. I love how you think of others.
I leave a comment on every FYBF post for the very reason that I don’t want anyone to feel left out. I’m glad you do the same with IBOT. 3 Thumbs Up for you!!!
Grace recently posted..FYBF – Open Letter to Mr Z
It’s hard work the commenting some days!
I think everyone should be heard, thats all there is too it. As soon as we become ok with ignoring people, we have a problem.
Jess@Essentially Jess recently posted..The Lonely Status
Jess you are looking at this from the wrong angle. There is nothing wrong with your approach, the world needs more Jess. You just have a big heart, that is all.
I don’t have an FB page linked to my blog and not sure I ever will. I use it for personal but even then I kind of avoid it. FB has an elemnt of fakeness overall for me, it lacks the genuineness of a good blog.
Carly recently posted..Moving house control freak style
Yes I know what you mean abut FB. I’m only on it for my blog, cause it’s a good avenue to get it out there.
And thanks for that comment. xx
I’m a bleeding heart but I’m also one of those who wonders why no one likes me (well, likes my blog post, or Tweet, or FB status update).
Although some tweets or FB updates are just me communicating with the world at large (product of living alone and wanting to share something I think!).
I do stress more about blog posts which go unloved: catastrophising that my writing is crap, I’m boring, I’m arrogant (to think anyone would care what I think). I consider giving up. And then… the next idea hits me and I have to get it out of my head and onto the screen!
Deb
xx
Deb recently posted..Night and day
I love your post, and want to read it more, but I forget cause its not in my reader cause I couldn’t add it? I’ll try again.
I worry too about every single post. It’s always the ones you think should go viral that get ignored.
ohh we all like a little love and acknowledgement. It is amazing what that little ‘thumbs up’ sign does for us xx *thumbs up* xx
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