Those of you playing along at home, may have heard me mention that Boatman has a new job.
He has left the car industry that was slowly sucking out his soul, and is instead driving boats.

What a surprise.

His new job works on the tides, so he usually has one week on and one off, or thereabouts, and starting next month, he will restart some financial planning on his weeks off.

In the meantime, he is homebound, and thus keen to ‘do stuff.’

Camping stuff.

Now I don’t mind camping. Over the years I have accumulated enough necessary items to actually make it quite comfortable. (Have you seen my chair?)
However I do not like to be hot, so if boatman wants to camp at this time of year, it can not be camping in the strictest sense. I’m thinking hiring a cabin or something similar.

So when Boatman suggested that we travel out to Arnhem land to visit friends Phil and Anna, I thought this a lovely idea.
He could do his fishing thing, and I would have someone to talk to.
And also fans. (The ones on the roof; not a whole bunch of people queuing for my autograph. Though that would be nice….)

However as the days draw closer, I started to realise I had agreed to something without fully understanding what I was getting myself into.

This is Arnhem land.

We are going to a community.

It has two names; one Aboriginal and the other for all us white blokes.

There are questions that need to be answered.

Question: Is there Internet?
Answer: Apparently so. How else would Anna be able to read my fabulous posts?

Question: Is there phone reception in case I need to send an emergency group text to Gemma, Daisy and Erin to say ‘I’m in the middle of nowhere!’ or ‘boatman is making us go fishing off the side of the road; help me!’
Answer: yes. Boatman has managed to call Phil to organize this whole thing.
Insert huge sigh of relief.

Question: Is there air condition?
Answer: I don’t know. Anna is there?

Question: Isn’t Oenpelli a dry community? Will I get arrested for smuggling gossips in the boats cabin?
Answer: yes it is, but Phil and Anna have a permit. They are obviously wonderful people.

Question: Do I really need to bring with me yoga pants, and egg plant and some limes?
Answer: yes. Apparently I shall be doing a class, and eating vegetarian lasagne. I can only assume the limes will not be for tequila slammers…. (Actually I have no idea what the eggplant is for either. I was just told to bring one!)

Question: Where on earth will we all sleep?
Answer: in one of the kids bedrooms. All six of us together, so nice and cosy, and really not all that different from small people who try to sneak in during the night anyway.

Question: Where exactly is Gunbalanya/Oenpelli?
Answer: Here

So there you have it. Boatman is dragging me 303 km’s to the middle of nowhere, and it is happening this very day.
In fact, it is highly likely that as you read this, I am trying to entertain small children on the long drive to the ends of the earth, and worrying that my house sitter will be met with the birth of unknown small guinea pigs, from a mumma Pig who is set to burst at any moment.

Surely, this earns me a really good mothers day gift?

Have you ever been forced somewhere random by your significant other?
Do you draw the line at being made to fish off the side of the road without phone reception, so that you can’t possibly let anyone on FaceBook know you are being made to fish off the side of the road?
If you were Anna and you read this post, would you just tell me to turn around and go home?ps Anna. I actually am very excited about coming to visit you. But you know I had to get a blog post out of it right?

pps I probably won’t get around to many IBOT posts till Thursday, but I will get there!